Saturday, May 8, 2010


I'm so FUCKING tired of FUCKING BULLSHIT and FUCKING gay drama! The title says it all... My mind is racing and I'm extremely light headed and just so FUCKING tired of my life, gay SHIT, and guys! I'm so done with group activities and feeling awkward when I'm alone!

I think I'm the last FUCKING genuine, thoughtful, kind-hearted, sweet, loving, affectionate guy whose still single on this whole FUCKING worthless PIECE OF SHIT planet I so unfortunately call home. I know I'm not the best looking guy and I have a FAT ASS and a FUCKING nasty body, but come on FUCKING guys! FUCKING BULLSHIT you FUCKING shallow ASSHOLES!!! I know 95% of the guys out there look at the outer features first, but what about the FUCKING ugly and fat guys who honestly have more to offer. Like seriously, WHAT THE FUCK people?!

I walked home from a friends tonight which was like 30 blocks and all I did was FUCKING cry and think about all kinds of SHIT, which isn't new to me. I have just over an hour to think of what I was gonna write and as you can clearly see... I'm swearing a lot! If you don't like it, I don't give a RAT'S ASS! Go tell someone who gives a SHIT!

I really don't wanna go to church today and I've also decided that I will not be going out when I have a feeling I won't have fun or don't feel right about it. I really FUCKING hate going out in a small or large group when I know there are gonna be the classic ASSHOLES who think they're the SHIT and God's greatest FUCKING gift to STUPID ASS gay men. And I'm so FUCKING close to just shutting myself out to everyone and being an ASSHOLE myself. I'm so tired of always being the FUCKING nice guy and getting used or over looked because I'm not a FUCKING SLUT or a HOT PIECE OF ASS! It's so FUCKING gay that all I ever get online are old, FAT ASS, nasty, BULLSHIT men asking me if I wanna FUCK or date them like they have some kind of chance with me. I know I'm fat and ugly as FUCK, but FUCKING SHIT! There has to be someone whose halfway normal out there for me. But I'm sure after they read this Blog, they're gonna think I'm out of my FUCKING mind and crazy as FUCK.

WHY THE FUCK am I so FUCKING messed up? I know I'm depressed and SHIT, but i swear only 10% of my problems are stuff I actually created myFUCKINGself... I'm not in the mood to say how people have FUCKED me over in the past and the SHIT they've pulled. I don't even know if I can or even want to believe what FUCKING DUMBASS people tell me now! I feel like people I meet just wanna be my friend or associate with my out of FUCKING pity or I'm a GOD DAMN pity case. Overall, I just don't GIVE A SHIT about anything any more. What's the point when I'm gonna FUCKING kill myself or be a FUCKING FAT ASS loser whose gonna be alone for the rest of his boring FUCKING pathetic life!

All I do any more is FUCKING cry like some pathetic FAGGOT! As I was walking home tonight, all I could do was think of other ways to hurt myself and just end it all. I seriously don't see the point of FUCKING trying for SHIT any more! I'm so FUCKING over life and people and DUMBASSES and ASSHOLES and FAGGOTS and SHITHEADS and whatever else that's bad that I can call them! FUCK YOU ALL

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